A few weeks ago as part of our popular Monday Quote of the Week series, I published an article entitled, Don’t Live a Life Full of Regret.
In it, I included the quote below:
I also called attention to the answer to a question about regrets which symbolizes how difficult it is to shake the regrets we all face.
It’s Clete Purcell, the best friend of the main character, Dave Robicheaux, who poses this question, using one of his pet names for him:
“What are the things you regret most in your life, bwana?’
“Constantly taking my own inventory.”
Enter noted author, Daniel Pink
At the time, I was unaware of the recent book by Daniel Pink entitled, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves us Forward.
I’m glad to see that he and I are aligned in our approach to regret. He, too, sees that it’s impossible to avoid regret and believes it is a distinguishing feature of humanity.
The Four Core Regrets
In GQ’s interview, How to Use Your Regrets for Good, Pink summarizes what he identifies as the Four Core Regrets:
”
Foundation, boldness, moral, and connection regrets.
- Foundation regrets are about stability. If only I’d done the work. If only I’d done the things that allow me to have some stability in my life.
- Boldness regrets are about meaning: I’m not going to be alive forever, when am I going to do something? If only I had taken the chance. You’re at a juncture in your life, you can play it safe, or you can take the chance. When people don’t take the chance, they often regret it. And even in follow-up interviews with people who took a chance and it didn’t work out, they’re generally okay on that. Because at least they did something.
- Connection regrets are all about love. We want people who we love and who love us.
- And moral regrets are partly about, In my limited time here, it’s important for me to be a decent human being, because part of what gives me a sense of meaning is that I am trustworthy, I am honest, I am a contributor. Those four core regrets are ultimately about meaning, purpose, and love.
